(After changing the privacy setting of my cringing old posts)
Hamartia at Twenty-Two
It is funny that I am coming back on this pretend abode of hope that never fails to remind how miserable of a person I was and I am. I have missed writing. I have been giving myself endless excuse not to write because I am still dealing with a lot pain and I want to give myself a favor not to bleed anymore. I guess, having been busy daydreaming and fulfilling responsibilities in the mundane reality are the safest ways to stop myself from weaving words about me.
Still restless and insecure
I am still working as a teacher who hopes for a better world by pretend giving my students nuggets of wisdom that I rarely believed in or follow. I am also taking my Master’s degree wishing to lessen self loathe and insecurity (little did I know that it has been worsening). I am still the person who says I don’t need anyone else’s validation, but doing the best I could to please the world. Also, I’m almost awake literally 24/7 but I feel like I have lost connection in this world.
Figuring things out
I have yet to experience more love and pain for the rest of my life. I have no choice but to get ready and accept the fact that I am vulnerable. Also, I am trying my best to revive whatever it is that I feel that I lost.