Torn

by Marjorie

This entry is not going brag about how people love to trust me in the field of leadership. I really don’t know what they have seen in me to offer many crucial positions to serve the student body. I don’t even know if they are aware that I’m an anarchist.

I don’t usually post some stuff on my academic life but this is really something. I already have 4 organizations and I’m willing to continue my service. And I want to add 1 more which is quite big since it is the Yearbook committee. I mean it’s really close in my heart since I know very well what I want to do when I get accepted. I also have experience during my high school senior year.  So when my other organizations had elections last month, I declined their humble nominations for me in higher positions. I want to sacrifice for something bigger.

And that one text message makes my plans a bit blurry now. I may not go straight anymore; I may head on the other side of the road. The president (my former director) offered me a very crucial position and the responsibility is really big. Someone also recommended me. I’m so pressured. I already have my plans for my senior year, but this one is tempting me. I don’t know why. I know I have commitment issues, but am I this addicted to big jobs?

What if my yearbook plans will not come true because I have so many organizations to attend. What if I cannot give my best shots on my assigned tasks because I’m torn and I don’t have enough time. What if my senior (with happy and smooth flow hopes) year will turn into something that I didn’t plan? What if I lose track of my academic life (I need to have bigger grades to graduate with honors) because of too many extracurricular activities?

“Non Multa Sed Multum” is an Ignatian value that is promoted in our university. It means “Not Many but Much.” How can I be an advocate about this when I’m letting myself drown and keep busy in getting all the organizations I want?

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