Hamartia

"She felt happy these days, yet there was always an undercurrent of sadness just below the surface."

Modern Hate

Why do you tend to be happy about knowing someone else’s failures? You also tend to have a pretend sympathy just so you could pass to be a “friend”. Is it really comforting to know that someone is having a bad life? Or the fact that you’re not the only one who’s failing is the real comfort here. Or you’re just plainly happy that you are already one step ahead of that someone.

Call it insecurity, jealousy, selfishness, but these traits are what make the world go round. People hate on other people for comfort. Look around, listen, and read between the lines. These kinds of negativity are very real in modern times.

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Hamartia at Twenty-Two

It is funny that I am coming back on this pretend abode of hope that never fails to remind how miserable of a person I was and I am. I have missed writing. I have been giving myself endless excuse not to write because I am still dealing with a lot pain and I want to give myself a favor not to bleed anymore.  I guess, having been busy daydreaming and fulfilling responsibilities in the mundane reality are the safest ways to stop myself from weaving words about me.

Still restless and insecure

I am still working as a teacher who hopes for a better world by giving my students nuggets of wisdom that I rarely believed in or follow. I am also taking my Master’s degree wishing to lessen self loathe and insecurity (little did I know that it has been worsening). I am still the person who says I don’t need anyone else’s validation, but doing the best I could to please the world. Also, I’m almost awake literally 24/7 but I feel like I have lost connection in this world.

Figuring things out

I have yet to experience more love and pain for the rest of my life. I have no choice but to get ready and accept the fact that I am vulnerable. Also, I am trying my best to revive whatever it is that I feel that I lost.

Book Review

metamorphosis

Reading Kafka is like jumping into a new dimension of creativity and imagination. The novel itself composes of only three chapters, yet it will leave the readers with very critical aftermath thoughts.

I am one of those who think that his words actually linger in your head even after days of reading them. The way he portrays metamorphosis signifies his deep insight as to what literature, critical thinking and society connect. Gregor Samsa (the protagonist) all of a sudden wakes up different. According to the book’s English translation, he turns into a monstrous vermin. Many critics spend countless hours of study to verify whether it is really a vermin, a beetle, young cockroach or any other blood sucking insect. Nevertheless, the story shows not just Gregor’s struggles but also his whole family in general. They are all facing their inner demons. It depicts unspoken choices, loathing, and even regrets. The family lacks genuine communication, so when their bread winner turns into something they never thought he could become, they start to build more walls instead of sympathy. It seems like there has always been a battle of supremacy between Gregor and his father. Their old wounds are never talked about. The book has almost everything in terms of conflict identification, but mostly, it tackles on the self and societal dispositions.

Some say that this is Kafka’s metaphor of his life especially when he becomes sick that eventually  disturbs his writing, and also, his indifference to his father. Some also says that Gregor has a mental illness and family sees him as a monster for having it. Moreover, for me, the book is quite liberating when you use some tools of the Marxists to analyze it.

The ending is quite unexpected; it will also give you the daunting feeling especially when you grow up in a closer family tie.

Franz Kafka, is indeed a true literary genius for coming up with a work like this. This is one of the must-read classics.

You can also visit my other blog http://salingeresque.tumblr.com/.

The Promising Goodbye (for The Vampire Diaries Season 6, Episode 22)

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Read more at http://marriejo.tumblr.com/post/120615695769 .

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I’m sorry mama, your life could’ve been happier if  I’m not here.

There’s this one thing

that never fails to

leave me behind—-failure.